I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
Randomize
