Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
