clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
I think I have vodka in my lungs
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Randomize
