Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize
