I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
Randomize
