She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
Randomize