Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
Randomize
