Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
Can I color on your dick again?
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
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