I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
Randomize
