I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
Randomize
