Dude, I just rear-ended a cab
Are you drunk?
A little...yes
Run!
Terrible brother advice.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Randomize
