I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
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