I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Randomize
