just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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