Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
my vag is so smooth its legendary
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
Randomize
