just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
