We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Randomize
