A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
Randomize
