That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
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