Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
