Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
Randomize
