then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
