i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
Randomize
