I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
