on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
my nose is crying tears of wow.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
Randomize
