so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
he's gonorrhea incarnate
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
