Sponge bath it is.
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
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