I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
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