Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
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