My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
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