talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
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