theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Randomize
