Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
Randomize
