The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
ugly people sure do ruin things
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Randomize
