my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
You ate ashes out of my bong
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
