I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Randomize
