U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Randomize
