that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
