um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
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