beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
