It's Friday. Sex?
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
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