let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
Naked. naked and bneed help.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
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