we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
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