im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
Randomize
