i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Randomize
