We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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