she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
Randomize
