ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Randomize
