i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize
