we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
two words: eviction party
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Randomize
