Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Randomize
