Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
