dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
