i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Randomize
