he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
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