pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
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