i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
