I never want to see another naked old woman again.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
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