I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize