well I can't set my house on fire every night
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
