Hello Stephanie, you need to come pick me up at Par Blvrd correctional facility and bring $750-$1000 for bail. I just got a DUI. Thank you.
What!?!?! How are you txting?!
Because this is Officer Reynolds, and I just arrested your boyfriend.
I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
