I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
sex in a hospital.. check
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
Randomize
