Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
Randomize