she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
Randomize
