thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
