I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
The uberlube is also flammable
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Randomize
