Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Randomize
